The Singing Tortoise
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Wahn was a very mischievous crow. But every so often he would need a break. One day, Wahn flew down to a clearing to rest.
But when he got there, he discovered several animals running and playing in the clearing: Koala, Platypus, Kangaroo, Bear, Iguana... If that wasn’t odd enough, Wahn soon noticed that all of the animals were in fact men.
All of the men-animals were obviously having a good time – all except Tortoise and Frog, who were sulking by the foot of a nearby tree. Wahn considered that they would probably be able to explain everything to him, so he flew over and asked, “You two. What’s going on?”
Tortoise replied: “A wise medicine man declared that men and women should live separately.”
“That’s right!” added Frog. “So all the men-animals left their wives and girlfriends and came to play here in this clearing. But I do so miss them.”
“Me too,” sobbed Tortoise. “I’m hungry without my wife’s wonderful cooking. And I get lonely when the time comes to say goodnight to everyone else – I don’t have anyone to curl up with.”
“And I hurt my foot when playing tag,” complained Frog, “but there was no-one to take care of me!”
Wahn huffed. “Well why don’t you go back to your wives?”
Tortoise whined, “Yes, but... Then all the animals would hunt us down for disobeying the medicine man!”
“Not if they disobeyed him too,” replied Wahn.
Tortoise whined, “Yes, but... How could we possibly convince them?”
“Simple,” replied Wahn. “We just need to distract them so that they forget to hunt. Then they’ll be so hungry that they’ll fight, and then they’ll need someone to look after them – just like Frog. And they’ll be lonely without someone to curl up with – just like Tortoise.”
Tortoise whined, “Yes, but... How are the three of us going to distract all twenty-odd of them?”
“Easy,” replied Wahn. “Frog will sing for them.”
Tortoise whined, “Yes, but... Nobody likes Frog! They think he’s too small to be worth the time of day! No-one would stop to listen to him.”
Wahn sighed. “Okay, then Tortoise will sing for them.”
Tortoise whined, “Yes, but... I can’t sing! I sound like a kangaroo!”
Wahn shook his head. But then, he had a thought. He had a plan. He called Tortoise and Frog closer to him and whispered what they would have to do.
Later that same day, the men-animals began to grow tired of playing, and decided it was about time to go hunting for food. Just before they did, Wahn burst into the clearing, loudly proclaiming, “Friends, friends! Stay for just a little entertainment! Tortoise is going to sing for you...”
Now if it had been Frog, none of the men-animals would have bothered to listen. But everyone was curious to know how well Tortoise could sing. So they sat in a semi-circle as Tortoise crept out nervously, gave a little cough... and suddenly sang in a wonderful deep voice!
While all the men-animals were so entranced by Tortoise’s voice and his dancing, nobody realised that the words were actually being sung by Frog! Hidden behind a bush, Frog sang so loud that it sounded as if his voice was coming from right in front of Tortoise.
After several encores, Tortoise suddenly found his song was interrupted by the sound of several stomachs growling. Wahn hopped forward and said, “My dear friends! It is late in the day already. The easiest thing to catch right now will be fish. Why don’t you fish in this stream over here?”
The men-animals thought this to be a great idea, and they followed Wahn to the stream to fish. But it was so late in the day that most of the fish were already in bed, and the men-animals struggled long and hard only to catch about half a fish for each of them.
They were just about to eat when Wahn called out again. “Friends, you can’t eat here by the stream! Don’t you know that’s bad luck? What would the medicine man say? Quick, let’s hurry back to the clearing!”
The men-animals grumbled a bit, but they were all afraid of getting bad luck, so they began to carry the fish away from the stream. After a little way, Bear said, “That’s far enough. Now let’s eat.”
Kangaroo opened his mouth to agree. But when he spoke, his words said, “No, we must keep going!”
Bear turned to face Kangaroo angrily, and bellowed, “What did you say?”
Again, Kangaroo opened his mouth. But the words he said weren’t the ones he meant to say at all! “I said, we must keep going, you big hairy brute!”
“That’s it!” roared Bear, and launched his fist at Kangaroo. A massive fight broke out between all the men-animals. Nobody realised that Kangaroo had said nothing at all: all his words had been said by Tortoise, hiding in a bush and talking so loud that it sounded as if his voice was coming from right in front of Kangaroo. After all, he did sound like a Kangaroo!
The fight went on and on until suddenly the men-animals stopped to sniff the air. They could smell the disgusting stench of rotting fish. They had been fighting for so long that their food had gone off! Now what were they going to eat? And they were sore from the fight. Who was going to look after them? And since they were all at each other’s throats, every one of them suddenly felt very lonely.
Iguana at last spoke up: “I don’t know about you lot, but I think that wise man wasn’t very wise after all. I’m going back home to my wife.”
And all of the animals agreed, and trudged gingerly back to their wives. When they got home, all the men-animals were so glad to be back with their women-animals, and the women-animals were so pleased to see the men-animals.
Satisfied, Wahn grabbed some of the fish (crows don’t care if food has gone off) and flew away to have his supper.
“You’d have thought he would say thank you,” said Tortoise.
“Wahn doesn’t know how to say thank you,” said Frog, sadly.
And off they went to their own wives.
Since that day, all the animals have felt so embarrassed about how they once played so much that they forgot to have food, and ended up fighting over nothing. And that is why you will no longer see Kangaroo talking to Bear, or Bear talking to Frog, or Frog talking to Dog, or any animals talking with any other animal that doesn’t look the same.