The Pea and the Princess
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There once was a prince, who lived with his mum,
And when he grew up, the time had come
To find a wife, but this caused him stress
'Cos his mum only wanted a REAL PRINCESS.
Not just any old Sally, not just any old Bess,
He could only marry a REAL PRINCESS.
Was his mum that mean? - Yes, 'cos she's the Queen!
Did the prince care a bean? - Yes, 'cos she's the Queen!
Did she cause a scene? - Yes, 'cos she's the Queen!
Did she intervene? - Yes, 'cos she's the Queen!
One night the rain just started to pour
And after a while came a knock on the door
A girl stood there in the raging storm
Asked to come in to get dry and warm
She was soaked right through and she looked a mess,
But she said, "Please help - I'm a REAL PRINCESS!"
So what did the Queen do about that?
She went to get me, a little...? Pea!
Then she put me on a bed, and on top of me she put TEN mattresses!
Count with me:
1! (oof) 2! (oof) 3! (oof) 4! (oof) 5! (oof) 6! (oof) 7! (oof) 8! (oof) 9! (oof) 10!
And I couldn't breathe!
Then ten duvets! Count with me:
1! (flop) 2! (flop) 3! (flop) 4! (flop) 5! (flop) 6! (flop) 7! (flop) 8! (flop) 9! (flop) 10!
And I couldn't breathe!
The Queen said, "A REAL princess would be able to feel the pea through all those mattresses."
Stupid Queen.
Did they notice me? - No, 'cos I'm a pea!
Did they care about me? - No, 'cos I'm a pea!
Am I easy to see? - No, 'cos I'm a pea!
Am I knobb-l-y? - No, 'cos I'm a pea!
Do I sting like a bee? - No, 'cos I'm a pea!
But did the princess agree? - No, 'cos I'm a pea!
Did she pass the test? - Yes, 'cos she's a princess!
Did she feel distressed? - Yes, 'cos she's a princess!
Was it hard to rest? - Yes, 'cos she's a princess!
Did the Queen like her best? - Yes, 'cos she's a princess!
Was the prince impressed? - Yes, 'cos she's a princess!
Was the wedding a success? - Yes, 'cos she's a princess!
But did they invite me?
No, 'cos I'm a pea!